The Monologue

I invited George to come with me to pick up some fresh bread at Panera bakery so that we could make a special treat with coffee, plus I wanted to gift a Honey Wheat loaf to someone who was stopping by to discuss a file.

After we had arrived home with some delicious Orange Scones, George surprised me with a monologue. It was truly wonderful treat – I don’t know if I enjoyed the rhythm of him re-enacting the morning events, the faces and gestures that accompanied it or.. just his attempt to imitate my voice and jump back into his voice as he flipped in and out of roles.

It started like this:

He said you don’t think I know what’s going through your head? He totally caught me off guard … -and as he sat sipping his coffee and enjoying his scone, he went into the animated monologue of the morning event:


DAISY: Oh George, let’s go to Panera’s and get some fresh bread.
GEORGE: Okay
DAISY: *great I dont’ have to drive! I’ll just sit in the car and enjoy the morning air, the people walking, the birds flying*
GEORGE: *assumes his drivers role and begins talking business*
DAISY: *smiles, roles down window and takes in the crisp morning air*
DAISY
: yes George.
DAISY
: *begins to agree with George. thinking: why does he have to talk, can’t he just enjoy the scenery?* *looks over at George and smiles*

~ they pull into the parking lot and exit vehicle.

GEORGE: *looks over at Daisy*
DAISY: *she looks at him and flashes her smile, then glances at window and catches her image. thinking: he’s looking at my booty, he thinks it’s cute…uh-huh, perfect choice of pants my booty looks cute… he’s smiling*
GEORGE: *standing at the counter by the bagels*
CLERK: Next
GEORGE: I’ll have an ET bagel. *looks at Daisy*
DAISY: *smiles at George and looks at assortment of delicious baked danishes, scones, and pastries in the display counter ~ looks over at him one more time with her big brown eyes ~ this time beams over even a cuter smile*
GEORGE: *looks at Daisy* What kind will you have?
DAISY: Bagels? Do you really want bagels? *thinking: so predictable. still looking at assortments* Do you think Geordan wants a bagel?
GEORGE: We don’t have cream cheese.
DAISY: *smiles* *thinking: I know, that’s why we’re not doing bagels this morning ~ great time to try something new. after ALL THESE years AND HE hasn’t figured out how I like variety?*
GEORGE: *thinking: how MANY years have we been together??*
DAISY: Look at all these great assortments! Would you like to try some of the Pecan Raisin Braid?
GEORGE: *walks over to display counter*
GEORGE: Okay
DAISY: Oh George look at the breads! We’ll take that Honey Wheat loaf for Ana. oooh look at the Three Cheese bread!
DAISY: *let’s push it, let me see what he says when I point at the big one.*
DAISY: oh George, look at the big one! the one in the middle.

GEORGE: Three Cheese. Okay.
GEORGE: *I’ll play along, she knows I won’t say no to her.*

CLERK: Will that be all?

————
When it comes to communication both sexes need to understand that there are inherent differences in how men and women communicate… coming to that understanding we then won’t expect the impossible from each other.

I’m no expert in this, *coming from a woman’s perspective*, it appears that male communication is a way to keep
‘himself’ from being pushed around and a way for him to maintain his independence. As for females, woman’s communication with her partner is her attempt to connect to him–she’s not just talking to talk, nor is she trying to change him.

The inherent differences are… for women “talking” is their way to establish connection and for men, ‘doing things’ is how they connect.

Here it is in a nutshell for men: to your mate, respond to her and share more of yourself, in a way she can understand, remember when she talks with you… she does not want ‘advice’…. just talk, this shows her that you are not pushing her away, it let’s her know that you do love her and want to be close to her. For women: DO more with your man and be a part of his world but DON’T encroach and ‘tell’ him what to do – it is in his nature to lead.

Daisy Says: Love Love Love.

One thought on “The Monologue

  1. OFNR Process Model of interpersonal communication:

    Observation

    Feelings

    Needs

    Request

    1. To observe without evaluation, judgment, or analysis,
    2. To express feelings which these observations evoke,
    3. To express needs connected with these feelings,
    4. (optional) To make a specific request of another person to help meet an unmet need, and to enrich life of everyone involved. Essential in this is that the other person is to be left free to honour or decline the request.

    “When I see/hear _____,

    “I feel _____

    “because I need _____.

    “Are you willing to _____?”

    Source: http://nonviolentcommunication.com/

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