Forgiveness is a process, not an event. It takes some of us a while to understand this. Being that forgiveness is a process makes this a worthy topic to share.
If ever you want to grow – whether it be mentally, spiritually or emotionally – just work in a team setting. At some point, there will be a challenge or conflict, and someone inevitably will be hurt or take offense.
I struggle when I find myself in a spot where I’ve been hurt by others – yet I take a deep breath because perhaps more often than not, possibly I have been the offender (Sagitarrius by nature we tend to not sugar coat things… pretty much we’re like little children being blunt-fully honest; it’s okay coming from a 5 year old, not so cute from a grown adult). Too often people don’t express that they have been hurt by you… and when that happens, the action and behavior go unchecked. Unfortunately you don’t know what you don’t know, we’re not all mind readers. Either way, it sure stings when it does happen.
While forgiveness comes easy to some, to most it’s quite difficult. Many of us simply don’t know how to begin the “process” of forgiveness… or don’t understand what it really means.
When we practice forgiveness we allow a transformation to take place. The anger and hurt is transformed into healing and peace. Forgiveness allows us to overcome feelings of depression, anxiety, rage, as well as personal and relationship conflicts.
So, how do you know if you are struggling with an issue of forgiveness? Simple.
It’s the grief we walk with, it’s the story we tell ourselves about pain and grief. When we take time to listen to our self talk we quickly find the “initial cause”. What is your grievance story? You know, the one you tell over and over to yourself, and to others about how you were wronged. (And even when it’s in your face you may choose denying the obvious, if you want to do the soul work you suck it up and face the music – some would say your own demons).
If you truly want to move on to better and greater, it is important to make the conscious decision to let go of any resentments.
For many of us… we assume that if we forgive our offenders, they are let off the hook — and we unfairly remain suffering from their actions. In fact it is “we” ourselves, that are let off the hook, we no longer re-tell the painful story. It may sound selfish, forgiveness is all about restoring your own sanity and peace of mind. Some of us also may think that we have to be friendly with them again. Forgiveness doesn’t automatically mean a reconciliation. In the process of forgiveness, we can move on, we don’t have to return to the same relationship. Forgiveness also invites us to break the pattern of allowing others to continue hurting us with their harmful behaviors.
It is written that God commands us to forgive others, to my best recollection and interpretation of scriptures he never told us to keep trusting those who violated our trust or even continue being around those who hurt us. Even when the devil tempted Jesus, he stood by his own faith and conviction.
We all have the right to live a healthy life. To do that we need to develop an understanding and respect for our own life.
In the physical -forgiveness is associated with lower heart rate and blood pressure as well as overall stress relief. In the psychological -forgiveness helps restore positive thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Forgiveness is returning to God the right to take care of justice and trusting that God will take care of matters.
TODAY, allow God to take care of justice and re-write your grievance story.
Re-write your story in such a way that you become a survivor of difficult times, — better yet — you become an over-comer, victorious… the hero!
Remember that you cannot control others, but you can control your own choices.
