Human Instincts

Sometimes I ponder at our own human behavior.

What drives a happily married man to fantasize about a pretty, young woman? What moves a woman to open over 400 shelters for the the “poorest of the poor”? What drives people to cheer for their team to victory? What creates the urge to step on the gas pedal and cross through the changing yellow light? What urges you to “get one more thing done” when you have a whole tomorrow left?

It could be summed down to Human Instincts – sexual drive, survival, competition, aggression and our search for knowledge.

Visiting my mom and dad in the Dominican Republic always brings a lot of reflection as I watch my Caribbean culture and juxtapose it with my American culture.

We went on one of our excursions — my mom had heard of an oasis that was developed in one of the neighboring farms in an adjoining city. Why the term oasis? Well, picture the most beautiful island scenery, luscious green mountains, tropical trees of every variety, flowing river streams, lazy dirt roads, island people walking about making work all look like pleasure always greeting you with a smile, blue heaven above and radiant sun warming the coldest of hearts… that alone would be the oasis, yet… there is more.

Any one could become intoxicated with the abundance of nature. Driving through this natural beauty …when out of nowhere we come upon a clearing with the sound of island music, kids jumping around a man made pool, people dancing under a canopy dance floor and food being served out of a fully operational restaurant.

So, with the above picture in mind, I am walking with my mom and dad as we enter this oasis within the mountains, music blaring, people dancing and a pretty lady comes up to my mom and greets her. My dad reaches over and hugs the pretty lady and then looks at me and says… ‘meet my sister’. I pause for a minute and look at my dad then look at the pretty lady and share a hug with her along with some pleasantries, and then go off to enjoy the oasis discovery. Later on that evening I talked with my dad about my ‘new aunt’ and wanted to know the story. As the story is told, I could not help to think of how we all do what we do and most of it is all due to human instinct.

In the small island of Hispaniola, back in the days of my grandfathers (both of them) it was not uncommon for men of means to bear children with other women outside of their marriage. (not much different than what goes on today even in America) These woman were not observed in the same light as the ‘wife’ but they were kept none the less. It must have been a status symbol for a man.

Sometimes it is awkward for me to share these things with my son, but it was a way of life. I recall my moms mother always a lady when it came to discussing matters of her husbands business. But my dad’s mom (who is still alive and creating mischief of her own even though she is blind) has no shame in telling tales of my grandpa’s quest to populate the island! (and for the record he is alive and kicking almost 90 — living with the last mistress who bore him the youngest of my uncle who is now 10).

To understand more about why we do what we do we need to observe human instinct. When we have a basic understanding of these things that drive us–then, we can move with clearer purpose towards the future.

With the understanding of human instincts we can also forgive our own shortcomings and those of others.

Daisy Says: Follow your instinct, it will guide you true.