Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu an amazing woman who I believe was highly influenced by her mother Drana Bojaxhiu (who by no means wealthy), extended an open invitation to the city’s destitute to dine with her family.
Drana Bojaxhiu once counselled her daughter by saying, “My child, never eat a single mouthful unless you are sharing it with others”. When Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu- known to us today as Mother Teresa – asked who the people eating with them were, her mother uniformly responded, “Some of them are our relations, but all of them are our people.” This moment I believe marks the foundation and philosophy in the life of Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu who was raised as a Roman Catholic and decided to devote her life to God at a young age. Joining the Sisters of Loreto at the age of 18 to become a missionary to India.
Early on, Mother Teresa understood God’s word in her heart directing her to eventually found the Missionaries of Charity. She wrote: “After reading the life of St. Cabrini—the thought kept on coming—why can’t I do for Him in India what she did for Him in America?”
Mother Teresa understood God’s word in her heart directing her to eventually found the Missionaries of Charity. She wrote: “After reading the life of St. Cabrini—the thought kept on coming—why can’t I do for Him in India what she did for Him in America?”. When she was 36 years old her wonderings soon became concrete, and she began to work in the slums of Calcutta, certain “God wants me to give myself completely…to God in the poor.”
She received some basic medical training and then set out to help the sick and needy. This wasn’t an easy task in 1948 India. She had very little support and, as her mission grew more difficult, she was tempted to turn back.
Walking among the poorest of poor she herself was constantly hungry and even had to beg for food. Mother Teresa wrote Calcutta Archbishop Ferdinand Périer, “There is such terrible darkness within me, as if everything was dead. It has been like this more or less from the time I started ‘the work.’” She suffered darkness deeply: “In my heart there is no faith—no love—no trust—there is so much pain—the pain of longing, the pain of not being wanted. I want God with all the powers of my soul—and yet there between us—there is terrible separation. I don’t pray any longer.”
Many of us like Mother Teresa have struggled with these thoughts and feelings of abandonment and disconnection from the “Source”, experiencing feelings of darkness. In an unusual way I feel comforted by knowing that even the pious among us have struggled with these same feelings.
In an article by Adam Lee titled “Mother Teresa’s Loss of Faith” writes about Time magazine’s story describing a decades-long crisis of faith in the life of Mother Teresa. The biography, ‘Come Be My Light’ consists of numerous letters Mother Teresa exchanged with her church superiors. These letters reveal that for the last fifty years of her life, she felt as if God had withdrawn his presence from her and would not respond to her prayers. Unable to feel any hint of God’s existence – “neither in her heart or in the eucharist”, according to Brian Kolodiejchuk, the book’s editor – she lived in a permanent state of silent misery and despair.
Excerpts from Teresa’s letters reveal just how tormented she was:
I call, I cling, I want — and there is no One to answer — no One on Whom I can cling — no, No One. — Alone … Where is my Faith — even deep down right in there is nothing, but emptiness & darkness — My God — how painful is this unknown pain — I have no Faith — I dare not utter the words & thoughts that crowd in my heart — & make me suffer untold agony.
So many unanswered questions live within me afraid to uncover them — because of the blasphemy — If there be God — please forgive me — When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven — there is such convicting emptiness that those very thoughts return like sharp knives & hurt my very soul. — I am told God loves me — and yet the reality of darkness & coldness & emptiness is so great that nothing touches my soul. -end-
Yet despite her internal struggle she fought for life, Mother Teresa was the dreamer among dreamers and a great humanitarian. Her entire life was fully devoted to helping the poor, the sick, the needy, and the helpless. Within her career she found her calling and nothing… not even herself could get in the way of the artist and the magic that lived in her soul.
One of the best prayer I’ve ever come accross is from Mother Teresa: “Give me the strength to be ever the light of their lives, so that I may lead them at last to you”.
Sources: http://www.americancatholic.org, http://www.mothercabrini.org, http://www.patheos.com, http://www.ducksters.com/
More about Mother Teresa:
Mother Teresa has been beatified by the Catholic Church. This is a step on the way to becoming a Saint. She is now called Blessed Teresa of Calcutta.
Albania’s international airport is named after her, the Aeroporti Nene Tereza.
She was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979.
She once traveled through a war zone to rescue 37 children from the front lines.
She received numerous awards for all her charity work including the Presidential Medal of Freedom from President Ronald Reagan.
